If you are older and are re-entering the dating scene you may find you
will be dating men with children. This is more and more commonplace
these days, men getting awarded full custody or at least joint custody
so they will have their children half of the time. This may seem like a
complicated situation but it does not have to be. If you and he handle
it correctly then the transition should go just fine.
The fact that he has children should be one of the first things on the list of thing to discuss when you first meet. This is not something he should hold back. If he does then you need to reconsider dating this man. His kids should come first and if he hides them from you and the world this could be a problem.
Talk to him and try to get a sense of the relationship he has with his children. Is he involved with them and their school activities, sports, and other interests? If he is truly concerned for their welfare then he is a good man and you can probably trust him with your own feelings.
Then, do a little self-analyzation. Are you capable of handling this type of relationship situation? You will be spending time with his children. Maybe not at first but at some point you will be. If they are young children then it probably will not matter if Daddy's friend comes over for dinner in the beginning but if they are a little older then they may feel some resentment toward anyone new in their father's life.
So, what's the answer here? The answer is to be patient and let things unfold naturally. Do not try to force them to like you because they won't. Children can be difficult and need to be handled with, pardon the expression, kid gloves. During this 'get to know you' period they will be relentless in trying to get rid of you. They will test you and if you fail their tests they will then go 'tattle on you' to their father.
The fact that he has children should be one of the first things on the list of thing to discuss when you first meet. This is not something he should hold back. If he does then you need to reconsider dating this man. His kids should come first and if he hides them from you and the world this could be a problem.
Talk to him and try to get a sense of the relationship he has with his children. Is he involved with them and their school activities, sports, and other interests? If he is truly concerned for their welfare then he is a good man and you can probably trust him with your own feelings.
Then, do a little self-analyzation. Are you capable of handling this type of relationship situation? You will be spending time with his children. Maybe not at first but at some point you will be. If they are young children then it probably will not matter if Daddy's friend comes over for dinner in the beginning but if they are a little older then they may feel some resentment toward anyone new in their father's life.
So, what's the answer here? The answer is to be patient and let things unfold naturally. Do not try to force them to like you because they won't. Children can be difficult and need to be handled with, pardon the expression, kid gloves. During this 'get to know you' period they will be relentless in trying to get rid of you. They will test you and if you fail their tests they will then go 'tattle on you' to their father.
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